1. Acknowledge and Identify that You are in Freeze
What might freeze feel like? Deer in headlights, stuck, unable to move, overwhelmed, unable to go forward, feeling of hopelessness or helplessness, collapse, feeling alone, feeling like you have no options or choice, a feeling like you’re going to die or something horrible is going to happen.
It can be helpful to say to yourself “I am in Freeze” to help bring your thinking brain back online. A sure sign of freeze is that the feeling of overwhelm does not match the current situation. You aren’t actually going to die from this task.
2. Befriend instead of Belittle
A feeling of overwhelm that doesn’t match the current situation is a possible sign that what you’re experiencing is an implicit trauma or somatic memory. What isn’t helpful is beating ourselves up for it. Thoughts like “I’m acting dumb, or dramatic, or overreacting” will not help. Trauma needs connection and safety. Calling ourselves names is not safe.
3. Use Your Five Senses to Bring yourself back to Present
Feel the present moment
Feel your feet on the ground, touch your chair or a fuzzy blanket, hold a warm or cool cup between your hands, take a sip. Take time to really feel the sensations, notice the texture and the temperature
See the present moment
Slowly look around the room. Notice the light coming through the windows, the shadows in the room. See your room. Say what you see.
Hear the present moment
Take a moment to locate all the sounds you can hear. The birds outside, the TV or appliances, your breath
You can add smell and taste to help bring you back to presence, if it’s helpful for you. One client likes to taste tic tacs to be present, another likes the smell of essential oils
4. Breathe – once you feel a little more present take 5-10 deep breaths. Inhale slowly through the nose to fill the lower belly, pause at the top of the inhale and exhale slowly through the nose all the way to the bottom of the breath. It’s important to empty the breath completely on the exhale so that there’s room to take in the fresh inhale. When we are anxious, we tend to never fully empty the lungs and that’s why we don’t get enough air.
5. Take the next small step – if freeze has started because there is a task in front of you, try not to think of the finish line, instead make small intentional steps and choices that move you forward in the direction you want to go. To heal from trauma we need to be present and be able to make choices to feel safe.
6. Take care of yourself – take breaks, go for a walk, rest, laugh, eat when you’re hungry. Movement is the best way of completing the stress response. Small increments of movement count! Dance, shake, stretch, or practice progressive muscle relaxation. Breath is the second best way of releasing stress, blow out through pursed lips or make a loud sighing noise as you breathe out.
7. Acknowledge that you’re healing – possibly a part of yourself that is quite young or less resourced is healing, and that young self needs compassion and kindness to know that she is loved no matter what, and that she deserves nourishment and kindness
For ease and Simplicity
1. Acknowledge
2. Befriend
3. Come Back to Present Using the 5 Senses
4. Breathe
5. Take the Next Small Step