Anger, Sacred Energy, & the Origin Story of the Goddess Kali

Exploring the Fight Response and Primal Energy through Storytelling

A story has a truly magical way to use words but get underneath thought so that we may be transformed and know our aliveness through the symbols and rhythm we’ve been invited into. Myths have been around before the written word, passed on through word of mouth, sometimes told in quiet, around a fire, in the company of those meant to hear it. They are stories about us and are meant to work on us slowly, like drops of water creating ripples and then waves over the surface until the surface is transformed. The meaning not fully emerging until we’ve made our way, some what, to the other side of an obstacle or a challenge in our life. Yet if we’re lucky, the story arrives just on time, to bring context and meaning to what we’ve been through. Myths are like maps or compasses, helping us to locate ourselves, to know something important, something that had been eluding us until now. The darkness or unknowing is an essential part of change, but no one ever wants to think about the cocooned caterpillar, we only want to know about the butterfly. Kali teaches us about the sacredness of the dark.

I often tell the Goddess Kali’s Origin story to the women I sit with. The ones who can sense the rightness of their “No” underneath the heaviness of the thick layers of untrue “Yes’s”. Women who can sense their rage but can’t make sense of it, because they are after all, “nice”. Women who have been conditioned to see their power as a problem, their “no” as being difficult, their desire for authenticity as selfish or mean. Many of us know this experience deep in our blood and bones. Sometimes the story goes flat and that’s okay, it’s not their story, theirs is a different one to come to light in it’s time. But often it’s right and I can tell with the tears, the smile, the excitement, the acceptance and the self understanding that emerges.

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In Nervous System regulation tracking we often discover that underneath freeze is fight. Not the kind of fight that powers over someone else but the ability to feel the flow of energy that moves us towards authenticity and grounded power. Slowly by working with boundaries, containment, a “vessel” you might say, for holding this power we might begin to express it and move it. We might feel a clenching in the jaw, from biting down words, or a growl long suppressed, a moan, a scream, a howl. We might feel our fists clench, and sense the power in our arms, chest, and upper back. We might tremble or shake, want to run, push, pull, or kick. Over time we learn to sense it slowly and mindfully, it isn’t out of control, it’s sacred energy, it belongs to each of us individually. Slowly we sense that power gives us more choice and we are motivated to harness the power in a way that helps us instead of hurts us.

In her book “Fierce Compassion” Kristen Neff points out that compassion isn’t always soft and yielding, but when needed it can be fierce. It can alert us to that which needs protecting or give us access to energy to motivate or sustain us. It can point us towards that which matters most to us. Anger is visceral, it runs hot and fast. Its primal. You’ve heard the expressions; “my blood was boiling”, “I flipped my lid”, “I saw red”, it’s in our body and effects how we view the world. Without boundaries and grounding, this primal energy can feel scary. But with practice we might come to see it as sacred. It may be pointing to us to what we really care about or what we truly need. For example, maybe you feel obligated to host or do certain functions and you’re starting to feel resentful. Resentment is on the smaller scale of anger. What is the resentment telling you? Do you truly want to be doing it? Are you crossing your own limits? Is there something else you want to be doing but never find the time for? Sometimes it’s helpful to talk to a friend or work with a therapist to uncover the impulse to do something that we don’t really want to do. A good friend who truly cares about your well being might see it through a different clarifying lens. We often can’t see our own ties that bind as clearly as we can see someone else’s.

Anger does source our primal energy, but so does creativity, passion, and desire. When we can start to feel our energy, even when it’s anger, without being dysregulated, we can then direct it towards things that enliven us. When we can free up our resentment loops and create positive action we fell freer. In Sanskrit, there is a word “Spanda” it means “the subtle pulsation of consciousness”, “vibration”, or “movement”. Working with primal energy can help us to sense into this rhythm.

The earliest source of the original Kali story is “The Devi Mahatmya” written between 4^th and 6^th century CE but there is evidence of Kali appearing much earlier then that. I am writing the story from memory based on a few different “tellings” I have heard. Please don’t take this as “right”, there are many different renditions and I am sharing the variations that have moved me the most.

Boom! Boom! Boom! Drums beat heavy and loud over the battlefield. Is that your heart beating or the vibration penetrating through to your bones? Durga rides her majestic tiger across the field slaying demons with the weapons she holds in her many hands. She has been asked by the Gods to slay the evil demon Mahishasura and his many minion demons. Mahishasura had become unstoppable to the Gods because he had found a loophole. Mahishasura knew that if he performed many tasks, he would be granted a boon. His devotion to the tasks meant he could request almost anything he wanted and couldn’t be refused. What he wanted most was to be immortal. This is one thing the Gods will not do, no one can be made immortal! What he asked for instead was that “no man or god could kill him.” This had to be agreed to, and from there Mahishasura waged war on the Gods. Many lives were lost before the loophole was remembered and the goddess Durga was called into the battle. Nothing had been promised about the feminine, so it is she who must slay the monsters. Durga fought and fought but every time she would slay a demon, for every drop of blood that touched the ground one thousand new demons would emerge in its place. Durga killed many demons and yet she couldn’t kill them faster then they were being created and she was being overcome. This filled the Goddess with rage. She is the Goddess of Protection! From this rage Kali was born. Kali emerged from Durga’s third eye. The blue-black goddess crawled out of Durga. Kali was terrifying to look at. She has matted black hair, and the longest tongue you’ve ever seen. She wears skulls around her neck and a belt of severed limbs. Kali’s job is not to be more palatable or easy for others to take in. She is the Goddess of Transformation and Destruction. She knows when something has to end. Despite this she is loving Mother Goddess, she does the difficult things when she needs to. Here on the battlefield, she stands by Durga and begins to fight but this time every time a drop of blood that comes close to the ground is licked up by Kali with her long tongue ensuring that the demons can’t reproduce. Together Durga and Kali defeat the demon and his armies bringing peace finally back to the lands.

The goddesses are manifestations of Shakti, the energy or current that animates all of life. They are spanda, they are primal energy. In most stories all the Goddesses are beautiful except for Kali. Kali isn’t about this. Her job is not to be pretty or make herself more palatable or digestible for anyone. She teaches us what to pay attention to. She is born from rage, but she is loving. She is the protector that ends the war.

Can you sense this energy inside of you?

If you'd like to explore Anger and Boundaries further, join me and fellow Somatic Therapist Andree for a free workshop on Thursday, April 30th at 5:45pm

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