Exploring High Functioning Freeze – Performing Life Instead of Living it

Have you ever felt like you were just going through the motions as though you were on autopilot? Or maybe you’re doing everything that you need to do to appear okay on the outside, but unable to find time or desire for things you used to find joy in. Maybe you can’t find the extra energy that used to be readily accessible to spring clean. In fact, maybe you notice undone chores are beginning to pile up with only the bare minimum getting done? You might find yourself scrolling or binging tv. It isn’t really like you, but you don’t seem to have the inspiration, energy or spark to do something else. To someone on the outside you may appear lazy or unmotivated but inside you know that something isn’t right. It’s almost as though you are performing life as opposed to feeling in it. You may be experiencing high functional freeze.

What's the difference between "freeze" and "functional freeze"? You might be confused if you’ve ever experienced a freeze response that incapacitated you. A freeze response hijacks our thinking brain and we might go blank, or have trouble speaking. With freeze we might feel very tense but unable to move. But functional freeze isn’t as obvious because we are still going through the motions, we aren't incapacitated, so it might appear as though we are in our window of capacity. On the outside we appear ok, we may be going to work and meeting deadlines, taking care of our basic needs, and even keeping up social obligations. But on the inside, we feel disconnected, numb, exhausted, and stuck. Both functional freeze & freeze are governed by the autonomic nervous system. It is a blended stated of high sympathetic nervous system arousal (bracing, tension, anxiety) and dorsal vagal shutdown (checked out, numb, disconnected).

Functional Freeze might be described as feeling like we are just a head, a mind stuck in ruminations, negative thinking, absent of possibility. If we were able to go underneath our thoughts, we might notice a sense of fear, dread, confusion or frustration. There can be a separation between the head and the body. I think of the myth of Psyche and Eros here. Because of a curse Psyche could never look upon Eros’s face. This might be as far as the metaphor goes but in Functional Freeze it’s almost as though the body and mind can not turn towards each other and take each other in.

Artwork by Mackenzie Carrier

Some of the signs of functional freeze:

-procrastination

-doom scrolling, binge watching TV

-analysis paralysis – Needing more and more information to try to make a decision but never able to make it

-always needing to learn more but never able to put in action with what was learned

-Needing permission from others, not able to listen to own intuition

-shame, self doubt

-tension, bracing

-feeling exhausted but unable to sleep well

-feeling confused or stuck

-brain fog

-unable to feel

-possibly burnout or collapse

-anxiety, dread, or ruminations with no solution

One of the hardest things about functional freeze in my experience is that there is so much life inside of us and outside of us that we just can’t access when we are in this state. We feel numb unable to "feel" our lives. Thawing freeze is like coming back to life again, feeling our lives. Clients often speak of “wasted time” in this state. This thought can freeze us more as we become afraid of life passing us by.

Coming Out of Functional Freeze

There is a way out of functional freeze, and it includes our body and heart. This is challenging because in functional freeze the mind takes over and tries to think it’s way out. In my experience it will almost do anything to not feel. It makes sense that we become afraid of feeling. It’s often overwhelm, pain, or some kind of wound that brought us into freeze in the first place. It’s natural to be afraid of feeling. But in functional freeze we are often not aware that we afraid of feeling, we are just stuck in thinking. Unfortunately though, if thinking was going to help us get out, we’d already be out, as we’ve most likely spent a lot of time in anxious thought spirals. In a Somatic Therapy session we begin to build awareness of how freeze is showing up and then we can explore the movement that is happening underneath.

Having a container and enough safety to explore freeze begins with space, compassion, awareness and the body.

Space – slow down. Body time is slow. Slow down, take a breath. Have enough space in your day to daydream, stretch, get out in nature, meditate, be bored. Many of us are overscheduled and stressed. Often we are so busy surviving that we don’t even recognize how overwhelmed we are.

Tenderness/Compassion – freeze is tender and shy. It doesn’t really want to be seen. Its job is not to see that which was too painful or overwhelming to see. Kind, soft attention is a balm for freeze.

Awareness – is helpful in creating a shift towards embodiment. Once we notice where we are, or that we are stuck we can start to move

The Body-  we can’t think our way out of freeze, we need to be in our body; safety, grounding, moving, safe relating, sounds, postures

Helpful Practices for Embodiment

-singing, humming, chanting

-intuitive movement

-structured movement (classes yoga, dance, etc)

-novelty – adventures, trying something new

-cold plunging

-creating

-Somatic Therapy

If you wish to explore thawing functional freeze further please reach out for a free 15 minute consultation to see if Somatic Therapy is for you